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You Asked Us: Is His Relationship With His Mother a Red Flag?
Posted on March 7, 2012
The question: I really like this guy (I’m 26 and he’s 42), but I’m worried that his relationship with his mother is a red flag.
First of all the psychology behind this can be complicated, especially considering the abandonment issues many adopted individuals face. And really, that isn’t so much your concern. Your focus needs to be on how his relationship with his birth mother makes you feel, and whether or not a relationship with this man is healthy for you to pursue.
Clearly his mom comes first. He’s 42 years old—you’re not going to change his mind. Whether you want to take a back seat to his mother or not, is up to you.
How To Tell a Senior Guy You’re Not Interested
!Viva Backpage!
How To Avoid Craigslist Casual Encounters Scams
How to Protect your Marriage
How to be Confident With Women
Even Paris Hilton Has Bad Dates
Is marriage a more solid commitment than living together?
Signs That You and a Girl Are, Like, Totally Doomed
Misreading The Important “Signals” That Men Send
One Day You Will Be 30-Something
Secrets Every Texas Woman Should Know
You Asked Us: Is His Relationship With His Mother a Red Flag?
Posted on March 7, 2012
The question: I really like this guy (I’m 26 and he’s 42), but I’m worried that his relationship with his mother is a red flag.
- On our first date the very first thing to come up in conversation was his mom. He told me that he was adopted and didn’t meet his birth mother until his late twenties. They’ve had a close relationship for the past 15 years and now he speaks to her on a daily basis, spends numerous weekends with her and considers her his best friend.
- I asked him if we could go out to dinner for my birthday. He said sure, if he doesn’t go see his mother that weekend “it’s a date.” On one occasion we were at a motivational speaker event and when she called he didn’t even mention that he was with me.
- I just find it very odd that he’s a 42-year-old grown man, and I still feel like I have to compete with his mother for attention. Is this a red flag? And what’s the psychology behind this situation?
First of all the psychology behind this can be complicated, especially considering the abandonment issues many adopted individuals face. And really, that isn’t so much your concern. Your focus needs to be on how his relationship with his birth mother makes you feel, and whether or not a relationship with this man is healthy for you to pursue.
Clearly his mom comes first. He’s 42 years old—you’re not going to change his mind. Whether you want to take a back seat to his mother or not, is up to you.